What’s Synonymous With…

This is pretty gross on so many levels but there’s a silver lining that I could not help but embrace.

Dad and I driving home from grandma’s house.

Me: “Oh shoot! I forgot we have to stop at the store to get something for Vics. She called me earlier.”

Dad: “Okay, we’ll just go to Safeway.”

A moment later…

Dad: “What does she need?”

Me: “Uh.. pads.”

Dad: “Oh okay. I need to get shoelaces, maybe they’ll have some.”

Dad starts laughing.

Me, confused: “??? What’s so funny?”

Dad: “I don’t know if you remember this. But when you guys were really little, one of you asked what a pad was. Mom and I didn’t know what to say so we told you guys they were mouse beds.”

Me, laughing hysterically: “OH MY GOD. Of all things, MOUSE BEDS?!? As in a bed where a mouse sleeps?!”

Dad: “Well what do you expect!? It was pretty complicated trying to explain all of… that… to a kid.”

I die. Someone please shower them with a trillion awesome points.


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